Remember when you were little? It seemed to take forever for your birthday to arrive. Let’s face it one year when you are 5 years old is 20% of your life. At my age…let’s just say the percentage is much smaller. It might be less important as we get older to celebrate things because we find life quite busy and things like birthdays and anniversaries just seem to sneak up on us. Having had a lot of them they also don’t have the same excitement. For some, the thought of an anniversary starts to turn towards a sense of dread…
I may be an adult but I am also a parent. I get the excitement of kids in these moments of celebration. For the children who are in a home with medical situation this becomes very important. It gives them a sense they will have what others do. It gives a sense of normalcy.
Even more important than what celebrations represent for the children, is what it can represent for the patient. I have seen too many people putting celebrations off or cancelling them because someone was sick. I have also seen patients feeling excluded because they were hospitalised. They would miss the family function or a holiday.
Why?
Why can’t there be small adjustments made to make sure the patient is included in a celebration?
Why can’t the patient and his loves celebrate a joyous occasion or simply have cake and coffee together? (cake is good.)
In our household it has been important to underline the joys and celebrate at whatever level it is possible to do so for my husband whether he was in the hospital or not. (In future blog entries, I will look at such occasions).
For the patient it could go beyond having cake. It could be a little excitement in a dreary day. It could give a sense of being included and connected. It could be a sense of still being an important member of the family. It could be a reminder to savour the really good things in life (like cake) and enjoy the blessings we do have. It could help everyone remember that the patient is not only the illness but a full person who might enjoy the distraction and the anticipation of an upcoming event as well as the sugar rush afterwards.
For some who love the patient, it might give them an opportunity to get over their fear in visiting the hospital. It could be a lovely way to help break the ice
I believe the lesson is even more important for the children. It is important to look at life holistically. There is the good, the bad and the ugly. Even when you are in the middle of the bad or ugly you might still find some good so don’t be afraid to celebrate it.
After 25 years, I am still waiting for life to be normal. Though there have been glimpses of normal, we have never waited for it to live. We have celebrated, loved travelled and fought- yes fought- because we get that this is our life and we will live it as fully as possible.
Don’t forget to celebrate when and where you can. It isn’t the format that counts but the people who are there with you.
Please join us next time with “Communicating with the children ».
I would love to hear from you if you wish to leave a comment or start a conversation.
Feel free to share this entry or the blog in hopes it lands on someone’s desk who may be feeling alone on their own crazy ride through a medical situation.