What an incredibly beautiful weekend this has been. Spring seemed to have been completely skipped over this year since it feels like summer.
I love these kinds of lovely surprises, unexpected and radiant. It is a lot like what life is like in a family. The last few weeks were definitely family oriented with two separate family gatherings in as many weekends. We were 23 here for lunch last week and 17 for lunch at the in-laws this week. Next week we will be running around to celebrate Mother’s Day for the mothers of our lives.
We feel the importance of family more in this phase of our lives. We are the sandwich generation. We have a great want and need to be there as our children meet adulthood head-on, with going to college and running away to start their lives. We want to make sure they hit the ground running.
We also have parents, uncles and aunts who are getting up there in years. We sense their growing frailties and wish for them to know they are not alone. They were there for us and we hope to be there for them.
Maybe that is what life is all about, to be there for each other.
What will we remember about our loved ones when they will be far away or gone?
I. for one, will remember the stories, the discussion and the laughter. I will remember the time spent with them.
As a child I remember Dad playing goofy songs on his guitar as we sang along; Purple People Eater and Tennessee Bird Walk were probably my favourite and would make me giggle.
I remember Mom making sure I was okay in the middle of the night when I was sick. I remember puzzles and watching Bugs Bunny. The Rooster was Mom’s favourite. Now that I am an adult, I enjoy watching her beat me at Crazy Eights. I particularly love her face when my little sister or brother drop in to surprise her for a meal as they did last week. (A six hour and a two and a half hour drive respectively)
Sometimes it feels like life gets the best of us and time seems to slip through our fingers. We often feel too busy to fit another thing in our schedule. We may put off seeing certain people thinking « maybe next week » or « when the season or work slows down ».
Sadly nothing slows down. We cut back where we can which is usually the contact for extended family. Part of me is thankful that a lot of them live far away because we purposefully take time to visit them every year. We talk and share knowing our time is limited therefore precious.
Our kids are kind of the same thing. The time spent with them, more-so now that they are about to fly the coup, is dramatically important to me.
The time at the end of the day to see how life is, to listen to them, share our great wisdom and a hug, encourage and sometimes shake things up. I particularly love being in the car with them, one on one. It is an uninterrupted time to talk or even to be quiet. There is a sense of intimacy but also safety because you cannot look into each others eyes. Being the only family driver for years made it a heavy load but also one of privilege. I am grateful for the sharing and hopefully gave them a sense that I had their back if they needed me.
The most precious of all moments for both me and my husband has always been to hear them laugh. Years ago we would be having quiet time over a coffee and we would hear the kids in the other room laughing hysterically.
We got to join in with them when we played games. When they were young it was Connect Four and Uno as well as a French card game called Miles Bourne. Now it is playing Settlers of Catan.
We may not have anything tangible to leave our children as an inheritance when we will pass. My deepest wish as a mom is that we left them something so much more; a sense of worthiness and a piece of our hearts.