Off she goes!

As parents we want our children to spread their wings and fly away. When they leave to build their own lives is when you know or you hope they are ready to conquer the world.

This week our oldest is doing just that. She is running away to the other side of the world for a year long contract. My mother’s heart is both proud and a little terrified.

The part that counts here, maybe more so than if our kids had grown up in normal circumstances, is that our daughter is living her life.

The circumstances of which I speak are the dealing with illness in the immediate family. You see when a parent is sick some children run away whether figuratively or literally, others take on a sense of responsibility beyond their years and may feel guilty at letting go of that responsibility to live their own life.

My concern as a mom is that the children would feel too responsible for their dad’s state when they had NO responsibility for it. This does not mean that they were not experienced ambulance chasers or did not know how to comport themselves in ICUs. They were informed and included when the ambulances came to the house. They had the choice to follow it to the hospital or not.

Our children got a more intense unexpected training that overshadowed their preteen and teen years. My hubby’s condition became dire when he started having seizures that were no longer controllable. His life was literally in the hands of whoever was with him when a seizure started since he needed to be rushed to the hospital in hopes that a doctor could stop the seizure.

All in all our children saw way too much and knew way to well how fragile even a strong person could be. Though they were very present every time their dad needed brain surgery or was rushed to the hospital, our oldest would basically move into the hospital with her dad.

My worry as a parent is that they felt they had to be present to protect their dad and would limit their own dreams.

When we had talked of having children we had always seen it as us giving them life so as to live their own. Little did we know what life we were giving them. Who would have thought that their dad’s life would take such a direction and that his health would teach us as much as it did.

Imagine the joy and relief I felt when our oldest showed up at the hospital to tell us she had found the university program she wished to pursue and that she had to move away from home to go to residence (unlike the reality in certain areas, children in my area attend university as they live at home if at all possible). I was thrilled at her news and knew we were not in a financial situation to support her…but she was living her life! We did our job.

Well that program resulted into a Bachelor’s degree in science and a year long contract on the other side of the world. At least we know what time it will be where she will be, since it is a twelve hour difference.

We gave our kids life. We did our best to prepare them for what life might throw at them and they got a whole lot of practice.

In giving them life we also gave them wings and our first one is taking flight.

Godspeed Lisa.