Comfort; what an interesting concept.
I was speaking with someone recently and it became clearer to me how sometimes people assume things of others. In this case, I am starting to understand people think I enjoy driving. It isn’t exactly a crazy thought. I have been known to drive fairly long distances in a fell swoop. Probably our longest drive was more than 11,000 km. We wanted to show the kids a pretty cool park so we drove from Montreal to Boston, to the Pacific Ocean, up the coast to Vancouver and then home with a few stops along the way.
Here is the truth. Driving is one of the thiings I do because it needs to get done. Because of what life threw on our path, it became my task to do. Every errand, appointment, car pool, vacation, my job was to get us there.
It is not a comfortable task or an enjoyable one. It just needed to get done.
Here is a new life lesson for me. Some people will stop themselves from doing things because it is uncomfortable or may hint at being uncomfortable.
I don’t know if I knew that being comfortable was an option.
I wonder if watching my mom and being a mom or having a husband with a crazy medical ride pushed that idea out or if that idea was just never there in my case.
When I was 15, I stayed behind to finish school when my family moved. Though I stayed with an amazing family, it was uncomfortable at the beginning. I was a kid and I was homesick. I missed the noise of a house full of people and I missed hearing my mom speak to me in my mother tongue.
The discomfort gave me a different example of what parents could look and act like. It also gave me my high school diploma by january of that year.
Since I wanted to be a teacher, I needed to pay my way to school. I spread myself thin and worked while studying full time. (For a period of time, I was in school full time and worked full time.) I also switched the language I studied in to reach my goals. Add to that the energies eaten away at at home because of illness.
I didnt sleep much and was always worried but I got the diplomas needed to do a career I loved.
In the middle of that, I fell for a guy with green eyes whose condition grew into a crazy medical ride.
Through all that we have two amazing children and we have both grown into people we are proud to be.
I don’t run away from things that may be uncomfortable. I ride through it.I look for what might be learned along the way.
That may be what brought me here, on my own ride. It is all well and good to ride through the uncomfortable situations. I must learn that life need not be uncomfortable. Had I put my foot down at the first signs of unreasonable and hurtful demands and conditions thrown at me by different people at work, I could have not needed to ride this new ride.
Illness, accidents, death, changed circumstances… things happen. Sometimes you have to breathe and ride it out. Ajust when you need to. Nothing is guaranteed. There is a difference of riding a ride that is noone’s fault and one caused by people’s actions or inactions or inabilities to deal with their own stuff.
It is more than all right to say to someone STOP when unreasonable demands are being pushed on you.
It is also okay to ask for help. (easier said than done)
Is that what I now need to learn?