I speak of celebrating in the most unusual places and even circumstances.
As I was driving home from work one day, I started to try to organise my thoughts as I often do when I have a quiet time alone. Since I had started blogging I was thinking of it and one of the topics I try to share on: the importance of celebration. The subject was in the back of my mind because a dear one had missed what to her was an important holiday because of a long hospitalization and she was already counting down to next year’s holiday.
It made me think.
What was the weirdest place my family celebrated?
I thought of the hospital, in the room, in the cafeteria, even next to the ICU. They all seemed pretty regular for our family having celebrated birthdays and wedding anniversaries too often to make it feel unusual.
Then it dawned on me;
The funeral home.
You see my dad passed away; peacefully; in his sleep; in his own bed; with a book next to his hand many years ago now.
It was a sad moment. It was not a tragic moment, but sad.
The strange thing is we had become a little practiced at him dying; not as much as he was, but the thought of him dying was not new to us. Even more years before, they had noticed that his heart had scarring so they believed that he had had some kind of heart attack. A while later, it seems that he had 9 heart attacks one week. The last one was while my mom, my brother and I were in the room. That time was just another practice for him and a real practice for me. You see they were able to reanimate him that time. It did give me the knowledge of what he would look like when he would die though. All of this happened many years ago, 18 or so to give you an idea.
My dad did pass eventually. It will be 10 years this year. When he stayed dead, we cried. It was sad, not tragic but sad. But the strongest sentiment besides fear for Mom’s wellbeing, was a sense of thankfulness. The feelings quickly turned to the extra 8 years or so we got to have. Even more than having that time, we were thankful that we did not waste it.
That feeling, the one of gratitude for the gift of time for Dad to know our kids and for our kids to know their grandfather was the one that was the most pronounced for me. His funeral was touching and focused on the celebration of his life: his loves, what gave him a sense of pride and especially his quiet sense of humour. There was celebration at the funeral home and after. Tears were seen and laughter was heard. We celebrated.
The subject of celebrating what we have is always in the back of my mind but I had a few reminders of the importance of it lately: the family member who was saddened by having to wait until next year for a special holiday and my father’s birthday that just passed.
Add to that, an important reminder of the importance of celebrating those we love while we still have them. As it happens too often, we remember that all too important lesson when we lose someone dear. In this case we have lost a woman who did not give birth to any child but helped give a voice and a sense of worthiness to hundreds: her nieces and nephews, their children and their grandchildren. This woman is a beloved aunt who has now joined her husband, my dad who was her little brother and her four big brothers as well as two of her sisters.
May we continue to celebrate who and what is important to us when and where we can even if it isn’t the perfect scenario.
What was your most unusual meaningful celebration?
I am looking forward to reading about your atypical celebrations.
Feel free to share this entry or the blog in hopes that it lands on the screen of someone who is starting their own crazy medical adventure.