My path to normal…

What an odd word.

I think I understand what normal is. To make sure, I Googled it:


Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected. (…) the usual,average, or typical state or condition (…)

There you have it, our unusually crazy intense medical ride means we did not have a normal life.

I often defend our life became my normal, so much so, I don’t know what real normal is supposed to look like or feel like. Anybody who has had something happen that made them shift gears dramatically would understand.

Even if our life was quite odd, I must admit some of it was quite typical.

At first glance, we seem to be a typical family. I have been with my hubby for 35 + years. We have been officially married for almost 30 of those years. I actually still like him, A LOT. We have a small comfortable home with an outdated mustard-yellow kitchen and a fenced in backyard. We have two now-adult children: a girl and a boy. We have a couple of puppies and a couple of turtles.

I know this normal is that of the priviledged. A lot of people don’t have our housing security. Add to our world of priviledge, I am lucky enough to have a job in a school which, if all goes well, will give me a pension in a few years. We are also proud of our kids who have, despite their home-life, both gone to university. We are rich on so many levels.

I do have moments to remind me, despite my priviledges, my life wasn’t really normal.

Where I work, the population is typically middle class, whether it be the employees or the students.

In listening to people, I noticed how differently we lived.

They would explain how their cell phone was their life. My cell phone was my husband’s life. It was the emergency number when he would seize and the number listed on his medic-alert bracelet. I was to be his voice when he was unconscious or no longer able to speak and my phone was that life-line. If it rang everyone jumped.

Like my colleagues or my students, we would travel. Every year we would take off for at least a few days.We just recently took a plane together for the first time. There was a number of years when my hubby’s medical condition made taking a plane not possibble. (His illness also affected our finances so we wouldn’t have had the money anyway)

An example of how things were different from my colleagues happened a few years back. People were sharing their spring break excitement during our lunch break. Typical for teachers, some had been sick while others had gone south or gone skiing. Some had staycations. Our family had spent the week at the ICU. One of my hubby’s seizures put him in a coma. You might think, that’s a once in a lifetime kind of situation. You would be wrong. We had the exact same spring break the following year, that tme minus the coma.

Our normal was so far out there, I kept quiet. I did listen to people explaining on how unjust the world was because they had a cold during their holiday.

Now I find myself in a new phase of life. Our normal now resembles normal. I must now understand pain, stress and having to put the needs of others ahead of my own is not typical.

I am now on a path to normal… what a learning curve!

is there something you are surprised you are still needing to learn?

Feel free to comment and please share this blog in hopes it helps someone on their own ride.